You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
