do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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