he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
