wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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