the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize