Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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