For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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