Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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