we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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