Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
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There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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