Are we in a gay sports bar?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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