you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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