just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A bitchslap is in order.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
