I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
