Can Purell be used as lube?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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