i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
