how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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