Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
