i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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