she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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