Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
