K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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