I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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