sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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