Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
