My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize