Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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