whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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