So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
