god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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