You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
