We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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