i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
