Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  so... i had sex tonight

  (906): View more from Michigan

  with a midget

  (906): View more from Michigan

  nicccce tits for a little person

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  (906): so... i had sex tonight (906): with a midget (906): nicccce tits for a little person http://tfl.nu/2uyc
  Replies (1) Good night (1388) Bad night (654)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.

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  (856): I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch. http://tfl.nu/64iu
  Replies (28) Good night (5044) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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  (760): the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows (1-760): i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal http://tfl.nu/0c7c
  Replies (18) Good night (2356) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.

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  (315): my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say. http://tfl.nu/ygp4
  Replies (20) Good night (6145) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables

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  (807): Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables http://tfl.nu/0ytp
  Replies (11) Good night (5055) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.

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  (678): When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick. http://tfl.nu/i6to
  Replies (23) Good night (6064) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.

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  (210): I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/a1h2
  Replies (8) Good night (802) Bad night (3164)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.

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  (717): It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/8d6y
  Replies (8) Good night (3469) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?

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  (804): How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now? http://tfl.nu/mo61
  Replies (16) Good night (2609) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.

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  (443): Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies. http://tfl.nu/w2xc
  Replies (5) Good night (847) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.

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  (505): Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit. http://tfl.nu/tchi
  Replies (3) Good night (1260) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.

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  (770): Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it. http://tfl.nu/r24g
  Replies (6) Good night (366) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics

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  (304): The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics http://tfl.nu/2xhw
  Replies (5) Good night (411) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.

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  (248): okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for. http://tfl.nu/81ty
  Replies (0) Good night (667) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence

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  (408): that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/qpf7
  Replies (5) Good night (564) Bad night (248)

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