True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time