Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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  (323): my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing http://tfl.nu/8j5t
  Replies (0) Good night (681) Bad night (889)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.

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  (480): We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie. http://tfl.nu/xse4
  Replies (65) Good night (904) Bad night (16851)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we just fucked in the mcds parking lot

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  wasnt he a virgin

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yes we got celebratory milkshakes after

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  (732): we just fucked in the mcds parking lot (1-732): wasnt he a virgin (732): yes we got celebratory milkshakes after http://tfl.nu/wnnd
  Replies (60) Good night (13591) Bad night (1254)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman

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  (571): every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman http://tfl.nu/7ssg
  Replies (6) Good night (3957) Bad night (990)
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  (569): View more from

  Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?

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  (569): Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain? http://tfl.nu/hx2h
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (2134)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"

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  (248): On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers" http://tfl.nu/kmiv
  Replies (12) Good night (2639) Bad night (1428)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

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  (979): There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer. http://tfl.nu/lpls
  Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (666)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.

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  (778): i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card. http://tfl.nu/h3qh
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (1005)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.

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  (407): Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/w1nq
  Replies (8) Good night (778) Bad night (1461)
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  (+55): View more from

  Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.

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  (+55): Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept. http://tfl.nu/o11x
  Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (578)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just can't deal with that sentence

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  (724): We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion (412): I just can't deal with that sentence http://tfl.nu/b4b0
  Replies (3) Good night (1787) Bad night (630)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

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  (815): All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time. http://tfl.nu/0jym
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (945)
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  (707): View more from California

  Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer

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  (707): Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer http://tfl.nu/jesn
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (906)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  At least that would be something.

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  (606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (341)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.

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  (704): You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player. http://tfl.nu/yxi1
  Replies (2) Good night (388) Bad night (332)

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