his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.