And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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