Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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