So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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