Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
