Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
