Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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