Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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