you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize