At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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