New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
