You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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