I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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