I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
