xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
