She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
