she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Im part way to drunk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
