they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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