More tranny stories later!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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