I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
