but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
