Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
