You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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